Stella to Ground Control

Miss me?

2007-02-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

You may be wondering why I've been MIA these past couple of weeks... Well, leaving one job to start another has kept me pretty busy. I'm not complaining, but I know you've all missed me dearly and it is for you that I feel deep, burning pain. Time is of the essence, and for now I'm running out.

So with that, I leave you with a few thoughts:

Sheila Fraser and John Cusack are on The Hour with (your boyfriend) George Stroumboulopoulos tonight. She's a heck of a leader, an incredible role model and she has the most infectious laugh you'll ever hear. He's a leading man who stole my heart as early as the 80s, with credits that include High Fidelity and Gross Point Blank (and, for the cheesy at heart, Serendipity - I love that word).

The National Arts Centre has just launched Quebec Scene, a spotlight on the arts in Quebec. From April 20 to May 5, Ottawa/Gatineau will get a chance to see an incredible roster of artitsts, from The Stills to Oliver Jones, and even La la la Human Steps. Seven hundred artists, 16 days. Cool.

Mind your salami and your frozen crème brûlée. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency has warned that two brands of these foods may have been contaminated. How much more proof do you need to know, in your heart of hearts, that pre-packaged food are bad news?

So there you have it. I hope to be back soon. Bye, babies.

Note from the editor: You may be wondering why I haven't touched on the ever-so-obvious topic of Britney's hair, or lack thereof. I just don't know what to say. Les mots me manquent...

Green Ties

2007-02-08T13:55:00.000-05:00

Instead of doing something about the dire state of the environment, the Conservative government has been hammering the former Liberal government for not “getting the job done.” Change was in the air last month when the PM shuffled his Cabinet to move former Treasury Board President John Baird to the environment portfolio.

So what has Baird done to clean up his government’s act? Well, we’re not sure yet. Actually, he’s not sure either. He knows what he doesn’t like: Kyoto (the agreement, not the city), a carbon tax and, of course, the previous government. He doesn’t want to be too tough on industry, fearing an economic collapse similar to Russia’s. And this morning, while testifying before a Commons Committee, he couldn’t even say how much his government has spent on fighting climate change.

But he has been wearing a green tie. How festive.

Canada’s New Government (come on, guys… it’s been over a year… you’ve lost your right to call yourselves the new guys by now) hasn’t done much for our environment. Instead, they’ve bitched about what happened to greenhouse gas emissions under the Liberal reign (They went up – high up – but let’s remember we also got ourselves out of a recession too!) and discussed creating environmental programs very similar to the Liberal programs they cut just a few months ago.

Take a hint from your awful electoral-sounding ads, Conservatives, and make sure you don’t end up not getting the job done, either.

_______________

I haven’t talked about your buddy George Stroumboulopoulos in a while. But on last night’s The Hour, The Strombo said some stuff that struck a chord deep within my proverbial guitar. He gave viewers a lesson on the much-needed balance between current affairs/news and pop culture on the show, explaining how important that balance is when most of your viewers take their cues from the pop culture icons they admire.

True.

But do they take their cues from Britney and K-Fed because they have something important to say? Is it because they really, really want to, out of sheer admiration? Or maybe it’s because their access to Hollywood is much broader and easier than their access to local, provincial, national and international affairs? My money’s on the latter.

Knowing all about Lindsay Lohan's most recent trip to rehab, Paris Hilton’s new-found support of PETA (a noble cause, nonetheless), or Michael Jackson’s pet monkey is all very interesting stuff. But does it really matter?

Call me old-fashioned, but I think that helping our fellow citizens own the choices they make when choosing leaders, and making sure they hold those leaders to account is extremely important. Sure, our culture doesn’t work that way yet, but who says we can’t be agents of change?

Having a platform like The Hour is a true gem. I’m not saying they should cut all references to pop culture from the show. I’m just saying that this balance George speaks of should be representative of the importance of the topic. Come on, Georgie, I know you love that Lindsay Lohan, but be an agent of change and let her go.

Lainey, my new BFF

2007-02-06T12:59:00.000-05:00

Ok. So Lainey and I don't actually know each other. But I have crowned her my new best friend because she's the Queen of gossip, and she hates Tom Cruise. The latter makes us kindred spirits, for sure.

The words "Tom" and "Cruise" don't often make it into her daily gossip dish. Instead, Lainey refers to him as the Gay Midget Dwarf. Priceless. In this recent post, Lainey refers to Katie (Kate?) as Robobride. Love it.

Check out her post and the links she provides to J-Lo's Superbowl party for odd clips of TomKat looking awkward and weird. Here's an excerpt:

"I’m telling you…it’s f*ckin’ weird. And while I know I’m biased, while I know I can’t stand that raving lunatic and his lobotomized bride, I’ve no doubt even the most indifferent gossips will watch these and feel a smutty tingle, if not an overwhelming sense of discomfort."

I encourage you familiarize yourself with Laney's Gossip Guide, for information on the Love List, the Fraud List, the Hollywood Slut Brigade and other endearing terms for your favourite celebrities.

Oh, and Tom? The aliens called. They want their mock-turtleneck back.

Poor K-Fed...

2007-02-05T18:57:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd say this... Never in my life... Forgive me for the words I am about write... But, K-Fed is funny.

Ok, K-Fed's not that funny, but the marketing people at Nationwide sure are. And they're brilliant, too.

Watch this 30-second Superbowl ad.

For other Superbowl 2007 commercials, click here.

Drama, drama, drama...

2007-01-30T11:04:00.000-05:00

As I hope you’ve noticed, I haven’t been writing as regularly as I used to. I’ve been pondering the thought, all-the-while scratching my chin, trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I am uninspired and I don’t know why.

Last night, I think I had an epiphany: there is no drama in my life. Could it be that, similarly to passionate, disturbed, emotional artists, I need drama in my life to feel inspired? Is it possible that this usually cold, unemotional, cold-hearted girl actually thrives off emotion? And if that’s true, wouldn’t it be true for everyone?

I have noticed, especially since I moved downtown a few years ago, that when there’s something up with me, be it good or bad, I am more likely to go on long, solitary walks, frequent coffee shops, take out the ol’ SLR, pick up my guitar, and write. But I’ve always held on to the idea that I was free to be creative whenever I wanted to be, drama or not.

Don’t get me wrong: I like this drama-dry spot I’m in. I’m sleeping well, not abusing of any substances or people and I am able to concentrate on healthier aspects of my life.

But couldn’t it be true that a little drama goes a long way?

All of that being said, I think I need to start thinking about other ways to feel inspired.

First step: stop watching so much damned O.C. on DVD. I think it’s stunting my emotional growth.

And I quote... Part Deux

2007-01-26T15:09:00.000-05:00

"I love science, and it pains me to think that so many are terrified of the subject or feel that choosing science means you cannot also choose compassion, or the arts, or be awed by nature. Science is not meant to cure us of mystery, but to reinvent and reinvigorate it."

Robert Sapolsky, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers

My SUV is killing me.

2007-01-23T16:08:00.000-05:00

Tonight, American President George W. Bush is expected to deliver his 2007 state of the union address. The big question is: what will he talk about? Iraq? Been there! National security? Done that! So what’s left? Ah yes, the hot (pun intended) topic of global warming.

As we know, The Dubbya is from Texas, a state known as the oil state of the U.S. He’s also the one who has his nose (butt?) in the Middle East to “protect America’s fuel resources”. And now, he’s BFF with Stephen Harper, the Calgarian in charge of our country who’s pushing the Alberta oil sands production. (Well, he probably wouldn’t say so. But we know so… Right, Ralph Klein? Wink.)
So what could the ol’ Prez be saying? Believe or not, the country that brought us the Hummer will be asking its citizens to cut their gasoline consumption by 20% by 2017. Isn’t it ironic?

So on the one hand, we’ve got the President’s request. And on the other hand, we have the eventual target of producing five hundred million barrels of crude oil per day in Alberta. And guess where most of that oil will go? (If you guessed the U.S. of A., you’re right. You get a lollipop.)

I’m actually at a loss for words…

Unusual, I know.

So where’s the sense in that? It’s as far from commonsensical as it gets. I don’t know. Somebody help me out, here.

YES! We should reduce our gasoline consumption. YES! We, as a people need to do whatever it takes to protect the planet we live on and so often take for granted. Bush serious about curbing global warming? I don’t believe it; not for a second.

Give me the organic, pesticide-free, Birkenstock-wearing Dubbya and maybe I’ll buy it. We can call him Birken-Bush. Now THAT’S a legacy.

Note from the author: About the title... I don't actually have an SUV. Just thought I'd make that clear.

Vive le Québec libre, or so they say...

2007-01-19T11:35:00.000-05:00

The second of two threatening letters from the FLQ (Front de liberation du Québec, which translates to the Quebec Liberation Front) was sent to Bob Benedetti, the mayor of the Montreal suburb of Beaconsfield, as well as Quebec Premier Jean Charest and French President Jacques Chirac.

As some of you might recall (or remember reading about) the FLQ was a pro-sovereignty militant group responsible for bombings in the 60s. They also sparked the 1970 October Crisis when a British diplomat was kidnapped. Quebec's labour minister, Pierre Laporte, was also kidnapped and later killed. The CBC recently produced a mini-series on the Crisis which offers up some of the details. This was a big deal. A big, big deal.

Now the group is threatening to target public, crowded areas in the mostly English-speaking area of Western Montreal between February 15 and March 15. The RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) has stated that it does not believe this cell of the FLQ is currently capable of following through on their threats, but the threats alone are somewhat alarming.

Are we really still here? Is it possible that in a country like Canada, we are still arguing on whether a province should stay or go? Are people so sick of living in one of the best countries in the world that they are willing to mount attacks (or at least talk about it) against fellow citizens?

Granted, this group represents a minority of people. Although nearly half the province of Québec voted for separation in the 1995 referendum, most of them wouldn’t go to violent extremes to see it happen.

Passion is a powerful thing, and the FLQ has tons. Passion leads to great things, but it can also lead to desperate measures. How desperate the FLQ is going to get remains to be seen.

Majumder on 24 - Two become one

2007-01-16T10:37:00.000-05:00

Something beautiful happened on the tube last night: my favourite action-packed, nuclear (nookeelur?) bomb-laden TV show and my favourite Canadian comedian came together as one to create TV magic.

You see, Newfoundlander Shaun Majumder – a staple on the CBC’s This Hour Has 22 Minutes as well as various Just For Laughs events – guest-starred on last night’s episode of 24 as a Soviet-trained, nuclear scientist terrorist man. He was as cute as ever, even in that orange prison jumpsuit and creepy glare.

The first time I saw Shaun in action was at Yuk Yuk’s in Ottawa a few years ago. I (figuratively) peed my pants. The dude is funny. That’s why I wondered how he would pull off such a dramatic role. Initially, when he first showed up on the screen last night, I silently shrieked and giggled a little. While he didn’t have that much screen time (and only about 5 lines!), he was quick to convince me that he was a crazy mad scientist and that he meant serious terrorist business.

I was hoping Majumder would be on for a few episodes, but the show closed on his character flashing a sinister smile, detonating a nuclear weapon, blowing up part of L.A., and killing himself in the process. Oh baby. The action just didn’t stop.

On his Web site, Majumder says:

YES I WILL BE IN THE 3rd and 4th Hours of "Day 6" of the television serial dramatic program show 24. Look out! Here I come... It seems that people are very excited. I hope you enjoy, and do forgive me for my actions.

I forgive you, Shaun. Marry me.

Pants on fire!

2007-01-12T10:13:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had someone point a fire extinguisher at you, pull the little safety key out and squeeze the trigger? If the answer is yes, it’s probably because you’d been caught, red-handed, in a lie.

I have my own theory on lies: I don’t think it’s possible to get away with one. I believe that somewhere down the line, you’ll just end up embarrassing yourself. It’s a theory that’s nearly impossible to prove, but it helps me sleep at night.

The problem with lying isn’t the lie itself, but the precedent it sets with one’s ability to trust another’s word. On the other hand, it can be argued that some lies are good. They help us get out of awkward situations or can spare someone’s feelings (some might call this “social grace”). But if it takes more work to tell a lie than it does to tell the truth, why do we do it?

Studies show that most of us lie everyday, and that we have an easier time doing it over e-mail or the phone. Two-thirds of us lie to our bosses and colleagues, while almost half of us lie to loved ones. We feel less guilty when we use technology to lie, and we end up lying about lying.

Although detecting a lie simply by watching/listening to someone is extremely difficult, here are some signs to watch for:

-Making limited physical expression
-Avoiding making eye contact
-Thouching their face, throat, mouth, nose and ears
-Odd timing between gestures and emotions (a delayed smile, frowning while saying “I love you”, etc.)
-Making expressions limited to mouth movements, not the whole face
-Being defensive
-Turning away from you
-Placing objects between themselves and you
-Adding unnecessary details
-Using of humour or sarcasm to avoid a subject

Every time you close your eyes… Lies… Lies…

Your own Magic 8 Ball

2007-01-11T12:01:00.000-05:00

If you had a chance to know, for sure, what the future has in store for you, would you go for it?

After chatting with a colleague this morning about her struggle with her mom’s Alzheimer’s, I couldn’t get the topic out of my head. Sure, there are tests you can take which can tell you about your predisposition to it, but would I really want to know? Would I want to live years of my life knowing that my brain would eventually slowly give up on me? Science is at a point now where medication can delay the terrible disease… but every time I lost my keys or forgot where I parked my car, I would think I was starting to go…

With advances in geneology, it’s now technically possible to know what your likelihood is of developing some types of cancer or other diseases. For example, women whose mothers and grandmothers have had breast or ovarian cancer can take a test and decide whether or not they’re willing to take pre-emptive measures to combat the disease, such as early mastectomies or hysterectomies. These aggressive approaches are a small price to pay for your life. But how far are we willing to go?

I guess the real question is: how far am I willing to go?

Furthermore, I wonder if my opinion would be different if I was a mother, or a grandmother.

My blood pressure shoots up and I have a panic attack when I learn my blood iron is low… I can’t imagine how I would react to a potential serious diagnosis, looming far off into my future.

For now, I think I’ll hold on to knowing that taking care of my body goes a long way.

Get out of my head!

2007-01-09T18:08:00.000-05:00

A little while ago, I blogged about how my iPod reads my iMind. I still believe that to be true, but today I realized this phenomenon goes way beyond my iPod, and all the way to its manufacturer: Apple.

Now, I do not stay up to date on tech news so today’s announcement that Apple was launching the iPhone left me bewildered. You see, just this weekend I was telling friends that if Apple was smart, they would launch a device which brought your mobile, your blackberry and your iPod together as one, leaving your purse (back pocket?) clutter-free. And that’s exactly what Apple did.

At the risk of sounding like a total marketing whore… check out the new iPhone. I love it, I want it, I need it. Next step: implanting the device directly into your brain. You heard it here first.

Guilty pleasures

2007-01-09T17:58:00.000-05:00

I am known to be anti-cheese. I make fun of the cheese. I reserve the right to feel like I am above the cheese. But, as it turns out, I am the cheese. Given that this is the beginning of a new year, I thought I’d make a fresh start and face my guilty pleasures head on.

Justin Timberlake. First, it was N’Sync. As much as I hate to admit it, I knew the entire choreography to Bye Bye Bye. Now that N’Sync is defunct, I am on to the next best thing: JT. Nothing gets me going like playing one of his hit songs really, really loudly.

Anne of Green Gables. Oh how I dream of finding that bosom friend, that kindred spirit, one I could walk to the lake of shining mirrors with, to recite lines from the Lady of Shalott… When I was little, I used to go to bed wishing I’d wake up with red hair. Lots of time has passed, and I still find myself gushing over the dreamy Gilbert Blythe.

Flowers on a first date. Ok. So I once dated a guy who thought it romantic to bring me red roses one a semi-regular basis. I thought THAT was cheesy. Call me old-fashioned, but I do appreciate the occasional bouquet of exotic blooms. Just make sure they’re not red roses.

Scrap-booking. You think of scrap-booking, and you think of the kid-obsessed mom with a bad case of shutter happiness, right? Wrong. I love scrap-booking. I have a scrap-book for every major trip I’ve taken. I collect all sorts of pamphlets, stickers and ticket stubs, and I scrap-book away. I love it.

Paris at night. Surely, there is a more romantic, less commercial place. I’ve never even been there. But there’s something about the lights, the bridges, the smell of fresh croissants (which actually originate from Vienna, in case you didn’t know) that equates romance like nobody’s business. I want to go there with the man I love and kiss him on every bridge. If that’s not cheesy romance, I don’t know what is.

So there you have it. I am cheesy. The first step to recovery is acknowledgement. I am on my way to a full, gouda-free life. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Celebrity Pimping

2007-01-05T12:12:00.000-05:00

Ever dream of hosting a party and having Paris Hilton as a guest? Or for Nick Lachey to show up at your new restaurant? Or even of getting a private performance from Jessica Simpson? Well, if you’ve got the dough, you can get the celebrity.

We’re living in modern times, kids, and everything is for sale. It’s one thing to invite Dr. Phil to speak at a function (it will, however, set you back anywhere between $750,000 and $1,000,000) because he is there as a professional speaker, hopefully teaching you something new and enlightening the crowd with pertinent information (this is strictly an example, since I think Dr. Phil should change his name to Captain Obvious). You can hire other high profile speakers, from George Stroumboulopoulos (Speaking of Georgie, what was up with that shirt last night? Can you say snug? It was distracting…), to Al Gore, for various rates. That’s ok.

What blows my mind is what I’m going to call marketing-prostitution. Party appearances, strolls down touristy areas and private performances paid for by people who obviously have a lot of money, and who feel spending it on people (litterally) is the way to go.

Wouldn’t that qualify as selling yourself? If not, what the heck are you getting paid for? What am I getting from it, other than a chance to look at you in person? I think we’ve taken “endorsements” a little too far… I also think we've invested a little too much into the idea of fame. Being famous isn't the be all end all of life. It should be the by-product of a successful public career. Instead, we're headed towards a vicious circle of fame for fame. Case in point: Paris Hilton.

Here is a sample of what it could cost you to rent your own celebrity:

-Mariah Carey private performance - $1,000,000 (I would pay that much to meet Mariah in a dark, scary alley… just me and her… no gloves…)
-Nicole Kidman party appearance - $500,000 + jet (For half a million bucks, I would expect Nicole to bring ME a jet!)
-Jessica Simpson private performance - $400,000
-Scarlett Johansson party appearance - $200,000
-Pam Anderson party appearance - $75,000 - $250,000
-Tara Reid party appearance - $10,000 - $50,000

Think about it.

Thursday funnies

2007-01-04T09:49:00.000-05:00

The Onion is celebrating six years of The Dubbya in an online tribute they call A Celebration of Courage. It’s quite humourous and, if you’re like me and double up with laughter at good Bush jokes, it will provide some temporary solace to your Bush frustrations. Bush it up!

Here’s a serious question: who likes fruitcake? I sure don’t, and I only know a handful of people who enjoy this mass produced fruity (those aren’t fruit!!!), nutty, heavy-ass cakes. I have a personal vendetta with fruitcake, and that’s why the following YouTube video made my day. In the clip, a rapper takes fruitcake down in a “yo' momma” style reminiscent of Eminem’s 8-mile. It’s hot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9mXwTRjjQM

The following is only humourous because it’s obvious. Scientists have announced that 2007 would be the warmest yet, predicting higher-than-average temperatures. I wonder if they were clued in by the fact that it’s, like, 10 degrees today and that we’re expecting highs of up to 15 over the weekend. This is global warming, people… how many more scientific studies do we need? Excuse me while I got for a skate (swim?) on the Rideau Canal, the world’s longest skating rink (wading pool?).

I am back (and wet).

Finally, our deary PM Stephen Harper is set to announce a Cabinet Shuffle today, which should include some movement in the environment portfolio. It is expected that the current Environment Minister, Rona Ambrose, will be moved to Intergovernmental Affairs. If that sounds like a demotion, it’s simply because, well, it is. Sorry Rona. I’m afraid her rumoured replacement, Treasury Board President John Baird, won’t be much of an improvement, but I guess that remains to be seen.

Wise words for PR juvies

2007-01-03T13:30:00.000-05:00

My friend Ryan has a great blog about PR and he recently tried to re-launch a social experiment he started this summer. He's asking the following question:

If you could give students of public relations one piece of advice, what would it be?

Since I like social experiments and since I like Ryan, I thought I'd help out. He also asked his readers for help, and I do what I'm told. Post a comment with your answer and I'll get it to him.

He'll compile all the responses on his site. Check it out: The New PR.

My advice? Take everything you think you know about what it's like to work in PR and kick it to curb. It's a lot of fun, but it's not nearly as glamourous as you may think it is, it's a hell of a lot more work than you may think it is, and you'll always, always be learning something new... There is no such thing as a PR pro.

Much love for 2007, babies

2007-01-03T13:16:00.000-05:00

2007 is in full swing, and it’s been nearly two weeks since my last post. Miss me? Yes, that’s what I thought.

Lots has happened over the holidays: Saddam Hussein was hung, Gerald Ford and James Brown died (not together, though), BC’s getting the shit kicked out of it by Mother Nature, Canada’s Radio Kandahar is ready to start broadcasting, there are rumours of a Cabinet shuffle on the Hill, and I feel sort of fat. I did manage to completely unplug over the last two weeks and not watch any TV, read any papers, pay attention to anything news-related. When you’re in the business, it’s nice to pretend it doesn’t exist for a while. If you managed to do the same, get the lo-down on your favourite news source.

The New Year always comes fully equipped with hopes and dreams. When I look back on the last year, I see that many things change but so much stays the same. I’m not much for resolutions, but I do feel like it’s a good time to get back into a healthy routine. But that has more to do with the fact that I ate and drank in excessive amounts over the holidays, than it does with being a New Year thing.

However, this New Year is particularly significant for me as it is coinciding with new challenges in my professional realm. With any luck, I will soon be transmitting from remote locations around the world, letting you know what’s going on in all corners of the planet. Until then, I’ll be doing my usual thing and hoping I’m not boring anyone to tears.

On that note, I wish you all a fabulous 2007. May some of your dreams come true (we have to save some for next year, don’t we?) and may you live happily and in peace.

Holidays wishes, from one bad elf to another.

2006-12-21T11:06:00.000-05:00

Well, the holidays are here. I am looking forward to my 11 days (11 days!!!) away from work, and will be taking full advantage of my vacation time to relax, unwind, see friends and family and of course partake in the occasional partay.

That being said, Stella to Ground Control will also be going on vacation, but will be back in the New Year. The year 2006 has been an interesting one, to say the least, and I’m sure 2007 will be just an entertaining, if not more. Thank you all for dropping in and reading (and sometimes even commenting, although not nearly enough!). I’ve had a great time putting this together and I hope you had as much fun checking in.

Before I go, I have a few last words of advice:

Be cool, don’t drink and drive.

Happy Chrismukah and all the best for 2007!

I'll have the tossed coca salad, dressing on the side, please.

2006-12-20T14:46:00.000-05:00

Today, in a news conference wrapping up for 2006, US President George W. Bush talked a lot about Iraq (eye-rack?) and the sacrifices that have been made there. After stating that he believes the United States will “win” the war – although not as fast as he initially thought they could – the Dubbya added that their occupation (he didn’t use the word occupation; that’s all mine) would unfortunately require further sacrifices abroad. He went on to say that the opposite would happen on the home front, calling for no sacrifices domestically and urging everyone to “go shopping more.” Honestly… for real?

Ironically, a recent AP-Ipsos poll suggests that three quarters of people in Canada, the United States, Australia, France, Germany, Italy, South Korea and the United Kingdom said they experience stress on a daily basis, and that this is amplified during the holidays. Time, money and emotions are stretched thin at this time of year. I’d like to send a special Chrismukah shout-out, here, to Captain Obvious.

Finally, Peruvian President Alan Garcia is proposing that coca, which has for centuries been considered a medicinal and ceremonial plant in Andean culture, be tossed in with regular salads. "I insist that it can be consumed directly and elegantly in salad,” he said. Although coca is legal in Peru, it remains the raw material used to make cocaine. Just a couple months ago, President Garcia pledged to the United States that he would continue a policy of manual eradication of illegal coca crops and to pursue development programs to replace coca with alternative crops (Coca of a salad variety? Organic coca? Pre-washed, bagged coca?). Experts say that currently, over 90 percent of crops are grown illegally for the cocaine trade.

As an aside, while travelling in the Andes a few years ago, I was struck with pretty intense altitude sickness. Coca tea was the only thing that offered any kind of solace, although temporary. Thought you might like to know. Thought you might also like to know that Peru is one of the only countries in the world where Coca-Cola or Pepsi do not rule the soft drink market. The champion, Inca Kola is made in Peru, and it is deliciously yellow.

Not so nice

2006-12-15T14:28:00.000-05:00

Some time ago, I wrote about a few of my favourite things. Today is a day for things that aren’t so nice.

Rogers. Call it what you want, but don’t say it’s customer service. Has anyone ever had a pleasant experience while dealing with Rogers as an existing customer? I am patient, I am courteous and I am polite. Where does that get me? Right where I started. I think my true beef is with market monopoly, where you have massive companies acting as the sole dispensers of a service. They don’t have any competition so they can get away with murder. If anyone has a solution for my Rogers woes, I am all ears. In the meantime, I am biting my tongue.

People who ask other people to print stuff for them. I don’t care if you're the president of the world. If you can take the time to write an e-mail or ask someone to print something for you, you have the time to do it yourself. You’re just wasting everyone’s time. And time is money!

Refusing to vote. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: it is a privilege to live in a country like ours, and we should feel lucky to be able to benefit from a democratic system that allows us to collectively choose our government. Not knowing much about politics is not an excuse. Read about it or ask someone for the CliffsNotes. It’s our civil duty.

Rows of slow walkers. I don’t have a problem if Slowy McNospeed and kids want to head out for a stroll. But do they have to form a human chain and take up the whole sidewalk/hallway/mall corridor? I’m not asking for the moon, here… just a bit of room to pass.

Dishonesty. If you have something to say, say it. Don’t beat around the bush, and don’t feed me lines. I can take it, and so can most people. We would save ourselves a lot of trouble if we just learned to be truthful. Yes, sometimes that means putting ourselves in a more vulnerable type of place; but in the end, we end up benefiting.

Wasabi when I say I don’t want any. For the price we pay for sushi here, in no-ocean-land, I expect it to be good. Damn good. For me, wasabi is the angel of death. It triggers electric shocks in my brain and brings me back to 1999 when, about to eat sushi for the first time, I exclaimed: “Oh look, avocado paste, yummy! I’ll just put extra on my tuna, in case I don’t like it…” The rest of that day is a blur. When I say no wasabi, I mean it.

In case you’re wondering, the answer is: yes, I am having a day. But it is Friday and a wonderful weekend, full of hope and expectations, is opening up ahead. Things are about to look up!

Flipper's got it made

2006-12-14T10:12:00.000-05:00

This is the story of a very tall man. By very tall, I really mean giganticus, in a Guinness Book of World Records sort of way. It’s also the story of two silly little dolphins in China.

You see, the dolphins thought it would be fun to eat up some plastic. They soon realized they had made a mistake. When veterinarians came to their rescue, they decided against conventional methods, and called upon Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-9-inch herdsman from Mongolia. The plan? To have him reach down into the dolphins’ mouths/throats/stomachs with his meter-long arms, and pull out the harmful plastic. The result? A complete success… the dolphins are doing swimmingly (pardon the pun).

See what a little resourcefulness can achieve? It kind of reminds me of the time my pant hem gave out and I used tape to fix it… Ok, so that’s definitely not as exciting as sticking your arm down a dolphin’s throat, but hey…

In an unrelated story, Parliament has recessed for the holidays. That means we will not be privy to Stephen Harper’s recent comedic self-discovery for at least a few weeks. Rumour has it, too, that we should anticipate a cabinet shuffle in early January, mainly to move Rona Ambrose out of the environment portfolio. It’s expected that Jim Prentice, current Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development, could be assigned to take over (because he sure whipped THAT department into shape! Well done, Jimmy, you can save the world anyday. Tsk, tsk.). So the Conservatives may just be admitting defeat and calling it a day on behalf of Ambrose. Could this mean they are also about to start taking the environment a little more seriously?

Please, Santa! Oh, please! For Christmas, I want another rinky-dink “plan” for climate change!

You do what you can

2006-12-11T16:08:00.000-05:00

I’ve stumbled across a few interesting and inspiring stories of individuals doing what they can to make a difference in their communities.

Today, I heard about an 11 year-old girl in Vancouver who, following recent severe weather, wrote to her neighbours to ask for their help. She reminded them that even though the rough patch had passed for them, there were still many people who couldn’t afford warm clothes or shelter and would be spending most of winter outside. She asked them to donate whatever they could: warm jackets, clothes, and boots. The 11 year-old’s neighbours didn’t disappoint, and news spread across the country.

You may also be familiar with the organization Skate 4 Cancer. S4C was founded some years ago by Rob Dyer, who decided he would skate across Canada and the United States to raise money for cancer. After many hardships, the organization picked up some speed, the skate was completed and they continue to raise money for cancer research through various events (including a tour with Alexisonfire!).

A couple weeks ago, I was walking down Elgin Street in Ottawa and my attention was drawn to a poster of a skull and cross knitting needles (I know). I followed the signs (pretending to be in a sequel to the 80s classic The Goonies) and ended up in Not Your Grandma's Holiday Craftsale, a fundraiser for Ladyfest Ottawa, a non-profit, primarily women-organised music and arts festival. If you can get me into a craft show, it’s a job well done.

Whatever you’re into, whoever you are, there’s something you can do to contribute. Whether you skate across the continent for cancer, or hopscotch for your local macramé club, it doesn’t matter. Just as long as you’re doing it.

Lessons learned

2006-12-09T19:15:00.000-05:00

I’ve learned a few things (or rather, I’ve been reminded of them) these past few days.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.
It sounds really, really obvious, but I’m noticing that it’s something we all do on a daily basis. It’s not always negative, but it’s never fair. That nerdy girl, for example: she might ride motorcycles on weekends. Or that super jock with the huge pecks and the macho-man attitude: well, he might just be gay. I’m not saying we should get to know everyone deeply. Just keep in mind that you just never know everything.

Although being sick sucks, it forces you to slow down.
I haven’t had a cold in over a year and a half. Usually, I am a big baby when I’m sick. But I’ve been so busy that when the sniffles hit this week, I just stocked up on drugs and trudged on. When I finally woke up this morning (afternoon?), I realized that I should probably take it easy today. And I did. It was great.

I shouldn’t watch movies/read books about time and space.
The concept of time-space messes with my mind. I understand it, but only for seconds at a time. The rest of the time, I am stuck in a perpetual state of “what the?”. I recently checked out an Einstein exhibit at the Canadian Nature Museum and I stood in front of a display for a good 10 minutes without moving. And again today, I watched The Lake House with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves (hoping for cheesy goodness reminiscent of Speed, but ending up with just plain cheesy) and even that got me thinking in overdrive about how it could ever be possible to correspond with someone form the future/past. My head hurts.

Winter is the devil.
I don’t really need to add more to this statement.

On set for The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos

2006-12-08T09:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday is over and I am still reeling from all the excitement.

We hit the 401 bright and early for what turned out to be an uneventful (but quite musical) trip to Toronto. We made it downtown, parked the car and walked around; but the brutal cold and whipping winds were a lot to handle, and we were at the CBC in what feels like no time.

After signing in, we were quickly brought up to the studio where The Hour is taped. To our despair, my friend and I were last in line. We were convinced we would end up with the worst seats in the house when a staff member called out for 2 people to fill front row seats. We jumped on that boat like nobody’s business.

Being on set was no surprise – it pretty much looks the same as it does on the tube. I was expecting a cheesy audience warm-up guy to come out and throw some lines out… I was delighted to see George Stroumboulopoulos himself come to greet us (he had me at "hello"). He was friendly, witty and very engaging, and he chatted the audience up before and in between takes. It was lovely.

On the show were Charlie Boorman (Race to Dakar, Long Way Round), Ben Kowalewicz (lead singer for Billy Talent) and Avi Shaked (Israeli Internet tycoon who is offering the Palestinian Prime Minister $1 billion if he and his Israeli counterpart can sit down and reach a peace agreement). All of it went by like a flash, and before I knew it, George was ripping off his microphone and people were slowly filing out. (If you missed it, go the The Hour's Web site for last night's show and all sorts of other clips and fun stuff.)

There was no way I was leaving without a picture. Having lost the ability to speak (WTF? What happened to the confident, strong woman I usually am!?), we stuck around until there were only a few people left and we had no choice but to introduce ourselves. Like many others, George seemed a little surprised to learn we had driven to TO for the day simply to attend a taping (everyone likes a good road trip, no?), and he was genuine and gracious. Finally, I asked if we could get a photo, and he agreed. Let me tell you: it’s hot.

Dinner in Chinatown was scrumptious, rice flour noodles and all. The trip home was almost as uneventful as the trip there (except for the wrong turn which landed us back in downtown Toronto – a sure sign we should’ve stayed there forever – and the massive mo-fo of a deer just waiting to jump in front of a teeny car like mine on the 401). Back in cold, grey Ottawa, the Toronto Blues have kicked in. I would move there is a second, given the right opportunity. It’s great city and it’s always so good to me. Surely The Hour could use another producer…

The Hour has arrived

2006-12-06T10:28:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is the big day. The T-Dot is waiting. The road is stretching out ahead. The iPod is fully charged. In 24 hours, I will be on my way to The Hour.

I’ve run through the scenario in my head: take on the 4-hour drive to Toronto (with intermittent stops at the 401’s Service Stations – the 401 just wouldn’t be the 401…), park in downtown Toronto, do a bit of shopping, head over to the CBC, have a blast on the show, grab a meal at King’s Noodle, and hit the road for the drive back to Ottawa. There’s one part of my scenario that’s lacking, though. There’s one aspect that is driving me insane. What if George is the chatty type who likes to get to know an audience? What if we happen to shake hands? Surely I’ll have to say something witty and intelligent, in lieu of the mumble-mumble-stutter-mutter I tend to pull out of my ass whenever I’m nervous.

The big guest tomorrow is Ben from Billy Talent. I can’t say I’m a big fan, but I’m sure it’ll be interesting, nonetheless. I would’ve killed to see an interview like the one George did with Stephen Lewis on Monday, but hey; you can’t have your cake AND eat it too, right? That’s what they say, anyway…

Have no fear, babies. I’ll be filling you in on all the deets sometime on Friday, photos and all. See you in the big city!

Last Goodbye

2006-12-04T15:34:00.000-05:00

If you've never heard of Jeff Buckley, you need to take control of your life and get your hands on some of his music. Really. Now. Do it now. A voice so haunting it will make you shiver, and music that will move you to the core. Unfortunately, he died tragically in 1997, but his music lives on.

Last Goodbye

Jeff Buckley (Grace, 1994)

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then i'll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause i know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,'
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that it's over... it's over

A Dion in the news, and it's not Céline

2006-12-04T11:48:00.000-05:00

To my surprise, former environment minister Stéphane Dion won the Liberal leadership race and will be leading the party in to the next federal election. He was my pick, but I wasn’t exactly confident that he would win.

This morning, the papers are littered with articles about the race and how Dion needs a bit of a personality makeover. Ok, so he’s not the most charismatic of people. But I’ve met the man, and he is genuine and sincere. That has got to be worth something. On the other hand, charm and charisma are two important qualities to look for in a leader (look at some of our great Prime Ministers – Trudeau being the best example – and they had what it took to woo anyone…).

Dion has made the environment a priority, a startling contrast with our conservative government’s picks (yeah, they say they care about the environment, but I ain’t fooled by their ambiguous attempts at buying time to come up with a real, tangible, useful plan). To me, that makes sense. Because without a healthy planet, all the other good stuff (education, health care, taxes, etc.) takes a backseat. Climate change is happening now and we are already suffering the consequences of it. It’s time to act.

I’m looking forward to seeing Dion in action. It seems to me that he already has a great platform to work from. Charisma, charm and a warm personality will come with time... here's to hoping!

Welcome to your Second Life

2006-11-30T13:40:00.000-05:00

Think of an entire world that exists only in your imagination. Now, think of this and imagine it being shared with millions of others. Virtual friends, virtual dates, virtual entertainment, virtual prostitution, virtual real estate, virtual streets, virtual crimes… and virtually no consequences.

That’s what Second Life offers. Imagine SimCity, multiply it by a million and throw in the creative juices of all its members. THAT is Second Life.

From what I can assess as an outsider, millions of members have joined the community (Really, it’s a Web site; not a real place. Just so we’re clear.) and are creating their online selves (or Avatars, as they call them), from appearance to lifestyle and choice of career. They trade stocks, open businesses, buy and sell real estate, mingle, go out, see shows – all of it for real cash. It’s almost as real as life itself, only it takes place in their computers and in their minds.

If you feel like you’ve entered the Matrix, join the club.

I’m not an expert on the psychological effects of the virtuworld, nor am I an expert on the World Wide Web (just got the Internet at home, remember?). But I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one to have concerns with what this potentially means. And even if I was the only one... Hell, I don’t care!

If you ask me, I’d say it’s a way for people to indulge in their craziest and creepiest fantasies without having any real impact on themselves or other (real) people. I guess that’s not all bad – better do it virtually with other consenting adults, right? But what kind of culture are we creating, when we can have a seemingly complete life, accomplish things, earn a living, go bankrupt and make friends, without leaving the comfort of our computer chairs? Are we becoming so self-sufficient that we don’t need to really interact with other real people – for real – without the mask of megabytes and html?

I’d love to hear from people about this, especially those of you who get a kick out of participating in stuff like this. Because from my side of the screen, it sounds, well, virtually crazy.

Christmas, Christmas-time is near...

2006-11-30T11:14:00.000-05:00

There’s a man who lives in my building who hangs stuff on his door. I’m not talking about your usual seasonal greetings or welcome mats (although he does have a few of those). He’ll post newspaper articles or cartoons, post-it notes with cheeky comments and even trinkets of various sorts.

This morning, to my surprise, I saw that he had hung a Christmas chocolate calendar, accompanied by a plethora of post-it notes instructing us (his neighbours) to go ahead and take the day’s chocolate if it has not already been taken, and to close the little cardboard door behind us when we’re done.

Although my mother’s words of caution are ringing in my head (“Don’t accept candy from strangers!”), I am tempted to indulge this neighbour of mine and be the first in line to collect the first chocolate of December, tomorrow morning. Although he is quite the recluse, he seems to fancy the holidays quite a bit – I was clued in by the early-onset Christmas lights, shiny ribbon on the door, and Christmas Carols echoing from inside his apartment – and it would appear that he wants to share his holiday cheer with us. As odd as it all seems, the situation has had an adverse effect on me. You see, I am quite the humbug. If you would’ve asked me, three days ago, how I would react, I would’ve probably giggled devilishly and joked about taking all the chocolates out at once. To my surprise, I found myself smiling and reminiscing about my younger days, when I couldn’t wait for the holidays to begin.

To my weird neighbour, of whom I’ve made fun on a few occasions (I’m not proud of it!): thank you for helping me find my Christmas spirit. I’m not quite there yet, and may just need a visit from the ghosts of Christmas, but anything helps!

In the news

2006-11-29T13:59:00.000-05:00

There’s quite a bit going on in the world this week. Here’s a sample. If you’re interested in the full stories (minus the commentary by yours truly), check out the CBC or your favourite online news source.

The Sierra Legal Defence Fund reports that raw sewage continues to flow into the Great Lakes, which happens to be one of the world’s most important freshwater ecosystems. Not only does that hinder our enjoyment of the water, but it has severe consequences on biodiversity and on water treatment. I can’t help but remember how my body puffed up like a blow fish after a weekend at Sandbanks… gross.

Sheila Fraser, The Auditor General of Canada tabled her report yesterday. True to her office’s reputation, it was scathing, particularly so for former Correctional Investigator Ron Stewart (also a CFL hero). Stewart allegedly improperly pocketed at least $325,000 in vacation pay an expenses, was often away from the office, and never really did much during his 26-year reign as leader of his Office. Smells like Radwanski… for now, Stewart is MIA; I guess you can say the AG really tackled him!

Canada has flipped over. Ok, it really hasn’t, but does anyone agree that it’s freakin’ weird that the West is in winter hell, and the East is enjoying super mild weather? Just a thought.

The Liberal convention kicked off in Montreal today, and will culminate in the election of a new leader on Saturday. It’s a tight race, and no one’s able to predict the outcome since many party members remain undecided. It’s an important race, too, since the new leader will have little time to unite the party before an election is called sometime this spring. Former PM Jean Chrétien will be speaking at the convention. Jean: sponsorship or not, I’ve missed you, ol’ pal!

After passing his motion on making the Québecois a nation within a united Canada, Prime Minister Harper insists he will re-open the debate on same-sex marriage before the House breaks for Christmas. Seriously, though… haven’t we already been here? Aren’t there more urgent things to take care of? Let people be…

Snoop Dogg was arrested last night for suspicion of illegally possessing a handgun and drugs. ‘Nuff said.

The Canadian Press reports that ‘for the second time this month, Environment Minister Rona Ambrose has cancelled an appearance at a parliamentary committee on global warming, leaving critics to suggest the government is in disarray on the issue.’ So much for climate change being a pressing issue. Maybe it will take palm trees on Parliament Hill to clue the government in on just how crazy the environment is about to get?

So there you have it: the news in a nutshell. Keep on keepin’ on.

Not made of wood? Wear rubber.

2006-11-21T12:25:00.000-05:00

According to the United Nations, the spread of HIV is on the rise. Almost 40 million people worldwide are infected with the virus. This past year, 2.9 million people died of AIDS, and another 4.3 million people became infected. In Canada, there has been a 16% increase over the last 4 years.

Access to care has improved, and education is omnipresent, but the issue of the AIDS epidemic has almost become a non-cause. During the 80s, it was a hot topic. You couldn’t use a public washroom without seeing posters on preventing the spread of the disease. Celebrities in the West were aligning to create awareness. Now, even though the problem has actually gotten worse, the subject is almost taboo.

Thanks to initiatives such as (Product)RedTM, the AIDS epidemic as an urgent problem is resurfacing, with a focus on Africa where it’s even more of an issue. There is more of a political will to improve the situation, and care has improved. Social stigmas remain, however, making education a challenge.

My shock is to see that industrialized countries are still seeing an increase in the spread of HIV/AIDS. Why aren’t we talking about this more, when the message is so simple? No glove=no love, babies.

Of Note: You may want to check out The Three Amigos. They are a series of animated public service announcements distributed around the world. They follow three characters, Shaft, Stretch and Dick – you know, the friendly-looking condom types – through short adventures and promote the use of condoms to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS. Spread the word, not the virus.

It wasn't me, it was the one-armed man

2006-11-20T15:05:00.000-05:00

OJ Simpson is speaking about the murder of his ex-wife as if he had committed it in a special to air on Fox next week and in a book to be published at the end of the month. In If I Did It, Here's How It Happened, the Oje talks about how he would’ve killed Nicole Simpson Brown and her friend Ron Goldman. I have to believe that I’m not the only one who thinks this is absolutely insane.

His publisher, Judith Regan of ReganBooks (an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers), considers this a confession. Next week, millions of North Amercians will tune in to watch and consider it entertainment. Sick.

Let’s suppose the former actor/football star/Bronco-drivin’ creep actually is innocent of the crimes he was found to be liable for during civil proceedings. Let’s just pretend, for a moment, that the prosecution and law enforcement officials didn’t screw up during the criminal proceedings. Let’s assume, even for just a minute, that OJ hasn’t made an innumerable amount of inappropriate comments and hasn’t ridiculed these tragic deaths… Yeah, you know what? It still wouldn’t be ok.

Fox is sweeps-obsessed, ReganBooks is money-hungry and OJ is, well, OJ. Yes, it’s a free continent and we’ve got a right to freedom of speech. But some people or topics just don’t deserve a platform. I won’t be watching the show, and I hope you won’t either. Give your time to someone who deserves it.

Am I on Candid Camera? Questions from the boss

2006-11-20T15:01:00.000-05:00

Questions your boss might ask, and the answers you wish you could give. (Believe it or not, these are actually inspired by a true story: the story of my life.)

Q: I printed a document on the (communal) printer a few hours ago and now that I’ve gone to grab it, it’s gone. Do you know what happened to it?

A: Although I am usually standing right by the printer making sure it is functioning well and helping everyone avoid paper-jam frustration, I had to step away for a moment. However, you’ll be happy to know that I have three security cameras planted on the station, and will get on reviewing tapes immediately. I will find the culprit, even if it takes all day.

Alternative Answer: The real question is “who cares??” Do like the rest of us: reprint it.

Q: I saved a document on my computer, and I can’t find it anymore. I am not sure about the file name, file type, or if I even created the document in the first place. Can you help me find it?

A: Seeing as I was born into a generation of important advancements in technology, and that I actually have computer skills, I am sure there is a button on that keyboard of yours I can press to retrieve the misplaced-possibly-never-written-document.

Alternative Answer: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Good one, boss! Ah, you had me going there… oh, you’re not kidding…

Q: I’m looking for a store on a street near the place that sells things. Do you think you could find the number?

A: Yes, of course, the store. Here’s the number: 1-800-ICAN’TBELIEVEYOUMAKETHATMUCHMONEY.

My iPod reads my iMind, iThink…

2006-11-15T08:25:00.000-05:00

Ever listened to your MP3 player and hoped it would play your favourite song of the day, and it did? I have. I used to think I possessed some kind of telekinetic powers, sending subliminal messages to the mini-processor in the device, pleading with it to play whatever I fancied at the time. Now I know the truth: my iPod can read my mind.

What other explanation is there?

If you’re like me, your music collection subs as the soundtrack to your life. Every song, every album, belongs in a tableau of your life; you’ve associated tunes to things and people. (A fabulous example: listening to Imogen Heap while riding the train into London, UK, last Christmas…)

So why is it that my iPod always knows when I am blue, and chooses to complement my mood with a sad Damien Rice song? What about weird occurrences of the same band playing repeatedly, when that band reminds me of someone, and that someone’s on my mind?

Kids, we’ve reached a whole new dimension here; one where human intelligence and computers communicate on a supreme level, acting as one. I used to joke, when I first got bought my iPod, that I wanted to have it surgically implanted in my brain. I guess I won’t have to.

Lest we forget...

2006-11-09T13:39:00.000-05:00

Saturday marks Remembrance Day in Canada. Every year, on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, we pause to remember the ultimate sacrifice made by thousands of fellow Canadians during the world wars and subsequent military conflicts.

Whether we agree or not with the reasons why we’re involved in certain conflicts, I feel it is our duty (from the comfort of our peaceful and democratic nation) to support the women and men who risk their lives on a daily basis in our country’s honour.

I’m a fervent supporter of the cliché catch phrase “Make love, not war.” In my little utopic world, everyone’s peachy and no one wants to fight. But the world spins in funny ways, and conflict is hard to avoid. When that conflict does arise, I am pleased that there are people who have dedicated their lives to protecting me.

All I’m saying is make sure you know the difference between supporting a war and supporting our troops. And at 11 a.m. on Saturday, take a minute to remember.

For my granddad who fought in Europe during WWII, who never spoke about it,
and whom I never had a chance to meet…

Love Foo

2006-11-08T13:55:00.000-05:00

The new Foo Fighters album, Skin and Bones, is hot hot hot! It rocks the house, but in a soft, sweet way. It’s raw, personal, and intimate. It’s hot.

Highlights include “Walking After You”, “My Hero”, “Next Year”…. Ah, screw it! The entire thing is good. Damn good!

Warning: This album may make you want to fall deeply in love, just because.

29 days to The Hour!

2006-11-07T15:06:00.000-05:00

I got friggin’ tickets to a taping of The Hour!!! (Shriek! Skip. Sigh...)

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this… Words cannot describe. I am so excited, I’ve warned colleagues and friends that I just might become really, really annoying over the next four weeks. I will be sure to de-brief the hell out of this adventure, so stay tuned.

It’ll be a nice day trip to Toronto (Service Station! Service Station! Ah, how little things make me happy...) and I will surely crown the day with a meal at King’s Noodle. After all, a trip to Toronto isn’t a trip to Toronto without the chaos and deliciousness of King’s Noodle!

George, if you’re up for some flour rolls and noodle soup, please consider this an invitation. My treat. :)

actus curiae

2006-11-07T14:37:00.000-05:00

I’d like to start this post off by wishing everyone in the good ol’ US of A a great mid-term election day. Get out there and vote!

Let’s talk about this giant news story that is the conviction of Saddam Hussein. As most of you know, the former Iraqi president was found guilty of crimes against humanity and sentenced to death by hanging. An appeals process is in the works, so we won’t know for sure what the former leader’s fate will be until early in 2007.

I guess most of us would agree that Saddam Hussein is a bad, bad man. And most of us would probably agree that he deserves all he’s going to get. But is capital punishment really the answer? When you’re responsible for the deaths of thousands, is “an eye for an eye” the solution?

I don’t consider myself a supporter of capital punishment. At the same time, I am not the biggest fan of our justice system. If I could be assured that people who committed horrible crimes would end up in dire situations (I’m talking a tiny cell with nothing but a toilet and an uncomfortable bed; no TV, no video games, no gym, no good food – if you do the crime, you have to do the time!), I wouldn’t think twice about letting justice take its course. But history has proven that this has not always been the case.

Back to Saddam. He’s absolutely nuts; agreed. Will hanging him, creating a backlash in the Middle East and possibly inciting more violence, resolve any real issues?

And I quote...

2006-11-03T11:00:00.000-05:00

"...it is enough for me to contemplate the mystery of conscious life perpetuating itself through all eternity [and] to reflect upon the marvelous structure of the universe which we can dimly perceive...."

Albert Einstein (1879-1955) on God and religion.

Jumpin' rice cakes! It's Friday!!!

2006-11-03T10:40:00.000-05:00

A Burnaby, B.C., cop who was charged and convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol last November is still in line for a promotion, according to her police department. Although her driver’s licence was suspended for one year – don’t cops need their big cars?? – her supervisors still say she has demonstrated exemplary performance, professionally and personally. (CBC)

Now, I’m not one to tolerate idiotic and irresponsible behaviour like drinking and driving, so I may be somewhat biased when I say this: don’t you forfeit your right to professional successes when you break the law AND endanger other people’s lives? I can pretty much guarantee you that if I get myself arrested for stealing this weekend, I will lose my job (with reason). But when you compare the two scenarios, you have to wonder how it’s fair.

People, don’t drink and drive. There’s nothing cool about it. It’s stupid and you will end up regretting it; big time. Nothing gives you the right to do it. Take a cab. Call your folks.

In unrelated news today, Tom Cruise and his producing partner Paul Wagner have signed a deal with MGM to resurrect United Artists. Mr. T will be producing and starring in films. Plenty of films. As many as four films per year. And you thought we were rid of his antics when Paramount broke up with him.

Gee, I can’t wait until he publicly demonstrates his love for his girlfriend by making out with her on a red carpet while standing on his tippy-toes. Hopefully he’ll jump on more of Oprah’s furniture. Better yet, he might even condemn the use of anti-depressants again, setting the de-stigmatizing of mental illness back a few more years. Oh Tommy: how you make my heart flutter. I fear the day when the aliens come back to get you…

Finally, Halloween has barely passed and we’re already on to Christmas. Holiday advertising is in full swing, and while I am trying to enjoy the last few remaining days of slush-free walks to work, I am being bombarded with images of Christmas trees, fuzzy snowflakes and cozy winters (if there is such a thing)… Am I the only one who thinks it’s too friggin’ early?

Peace out, my lovelies. And in honour of Bob Barker, who recently announced he would soon be calling the right price for the last time, here are some last words of wisdom: please, have your pet spade or neutered.

Lions, and tigers, and bears!

2006-11-01T10:36:00.000-05:00

The television was trying to speak to me last night.

It started with The Hour: they were doing a special on fear. Then, I watched House and discovered the underlying theme was also fear. Finally, the evening news also featured stories on fear. Yeah, it was Halloween, and this was surely an attempt to celebrate it without getting too commercial. But it got me thinking… What scares me?

I’ll spare you my philosophical musings on fears. However, here my top three heebie-jeebie-makers:

Spiders. The Canadian Nature Museum’s bug room is my hell on earth. On last night’s show, the Strombo reminisced about a horrific canoe trip where he had to paddle through a malicious spider attack. Thankfully, it got him over his arachnophobia. I, on the other hand, threw up in my mouth a little.

Ghosts. As fascinating and intriguing as the supernatural can be, I am scared to death of catching a white-robed figure turning the corner, or of hearing distant voices from another time. Having recently moved into an old (gorgeous) apartment, I am having to face this fear. I am convinced there is an old woman, who wears Florida Water and speaks through my computer speakers, haunting my residence. For Christmas, please send me garlic and crosses and holy water!!!

Mascots, mannequins and clowns. A special thanks to Today’s Special, who effectively ruined my childhood and any trips to the department store I have made and will make in the future. I hate, hate, hate mannequins! Clowns are just bizarre and creepy, and mascots are equally disturbing. There is something about being approached by someone in a big giant fake head or clown makeup that has sometimes pushed me to act like a child. Which brings me to my conclusion…

…Over the past few weeks, I have turned down invitations to Halloween parties and avoided any kind of costumed events. I was trying to figure out why I was so uninspired to participate in what I used to think was a fun “holiday”. It’s the costumes. It’s adults who think that just because they are dressed up, they can act differently than they usually would. I went for a walk last night, and had the reaction I’d had all day (“Oh. That’s right. It’s Halloween.”). That fake prison guard walking down the street brandishing his baton suggestively at me – is he always that gross? Those construction workers – were they really construction workers? That girl in the tramp/maid outfit – was she going to party, or was she very unprofessionally dressed and just getting off her evening shift?

Rubber baton: $5. Prison guard outfit: $15. Scaring the crap out of me: priceless.

Armageddon: January 24, 2066

2006-10-29T22:48:00.000-05:00

Was listening to The Strombo Show last night on CFRB in Toronto (catch the show live online on Sundays at 9 p.m. EST) and the boys were talking about www.findyourfate.com, where you can calculate your time of death, to the day. So of course, I was intrigued and checked it out. I answered some questions about my lifestyle and hit the “Calculate” button. I was sure that I’d end up with a grim prognosis via pop-up window with giant letters screaming “WARNING: YOU WILL DIE YESTERDAY!” To my surprise, I found out I would live until the tender age of 84. Oh my God.

What the hell am I going to do for another 58 years?

I plan to spend about 5 more years doing whatever I’m doing now, or something like it. Then I’ll run for a seat in the House, become the leader of the Party of Me, be the first woman elected as Prime Minister, retire, buy a cottage in the Muskokas, and move to my waterfront condo in Toronto, where I’ll write fascinating page-turner books and become a best-selling author. But that should only take about 20 years, right? Ok, 30… max.

Which leaves me with anywhere between 30 and 40 years of down time. Interesting.

Upcoming municipal elections

Municipal elections will be taking place next month across Ontario. It is an incredible privilege that we have to live in a functioning democracy, be able to vote, and have that vote recognized. What a waste it would be not to exercise that right. On top of that, municipalities are responsible for delivering a lot of the services we use every day, like public transit. Get out there, get to know your municipal council candidates, and vote!

Marching bands of Manhattan

2006-10-29T20:45:00.000-05:00

I had the immense pleasure to catch the Death Cab For Cutie show last night. It was their first time out in Ottawa, and we’ve been promised it won’t be the last. I was already a huge fan having listened to their albums, most particularly their last (Plans). But the experience of seeing them live beats listening to them at home ten-fold. The band gets right into it and creates musical magic, extending already cool instrumental bits to their songs into giant jam sessions on stage.

The lead singer, Ben, plays a mean guitar, piano and drums, and moves like Justin Timberlake and Elvis’ love child. I hate to say it, for fear it’ll make me seem like such a girl, but I was nearly moved to tears. For a moment, I almost forgot my addiction to The Killers.

The opening band, Ted Leo + Pharmacists, was a little disappointing. I had only heard of them previously to the show, but I must say I found myself a bit bored listening to some of their more repetitive stuff... Maybe it’s just because I knew what was ahead.

On an unrelated note, I’d like to send a shout out to all the grocery store lane hoggers out there. You know, you folk who manage to get your carts sideways in the aisle every time we’re head to head? I swear I spent half my time there training for the obstacle course Olympics. That being said, I’m sure you are all lovely people and I’m sorry I judged you and immediately assumed you were self-obsessed and impolite. You’re probably super generous and nice. I did manage to get all the stuff I needed to make a winter vegetable curry which made me forget all my woes.

You go, girl!

2006-10-27T10:08:00.000-05:00

Since October is Women’s History Month, I thought I’d fill you in on just a few of the women who’ve had an impact on me.

1. My mom. Able to balance motherhood and career, my mom is truly an inspiration. Having recently conquered her fear of boot-cut jeans, she’s pretty stylish, too! A practitioner of tough love (actually, she may have invented it), she continues to teach me to get over it when I feel sorry for myself, and that I can do anything I set my mind to.
2. Emily Carr. An amazing artist with an unconventional way to live life, at a time where women were expected to only be good housewives and mothers. If I ever want to live in a forest and paint totems, I know I’ll be able to.
3. Rosa Parks. In 1955, she refused to give her seat on the bus to a white man. In doing so, she changed her life, and everyone else’s.
4. Margaret Thatcher. Ok, so she was conservative. But in 1975, she became the Prime Minister of England and led her party through difficult times, including an IRA bombing of the Grand Hotel in Brighton (in an attempt to assassinate her).
5. Anne Frank. A young girl, a pen, and a diary. Without ever knowing it, she changed the world.

To all the women who fought to get us the vote. To all the women who cried out against violence. To all the women who wrote using men’s names just to get their work published. To all the women who’ve taught (and continue to teach) other women to be strong and empowered. To all the women who carved the path for other women to follow. I salute you.

What’s your beef?

People have no problem telling me stuff. Strangers, people I’ve just met, colleagues… And they love to talk to me about things that I’d rather not hear about: marathon lady who looks like a tree LOVES to share her foot fungus stories with me; anti-social boss recounts hour-long stories about her 12 cats; goth-type accountant man speaks about his love of architecture and fine chocolate… (Note to people who know and love me: I love it when you talk to me about whatever you talk to me about. I’m not referring to you, here). So why hasn’t anyone posted a comment yet?

My trusty new hit counter is proof that people are reading this. And the feedback I’ve received from friends is positive. Surely what I say here has stimulated some sort of emotion in at least one or two readers. So why haven’t I heard about it?

This is a two-way relationship, people. If you think I’m talking straight out of my ass (lovely image, I know), or you feel like you can relate to what I’m saying, let me know.

Come on, kids… Step into my office. Post a comment.

Good quality H20? Not for First Nations...

2006-10-26T12:33:00.000-05:00

This very moment, there are 30 First Nations communities on boil water advisories in Ontario alone. It’s a year after the northern Ontario reserve of Kashechewan was evacuated due to e.coli-tainted water. Even after 1,100 people were forced to leave their homes, the problem persists.

Instead of getting down to the task of providing access to drinking water in First Nations communities in Canada (a basic need, wouldn’t you say?), the federal and provincial governments are arguing as to who’s responsibility it is to manage/resolve the issue. It’s absolutely unbelievable that in a country like ours, where people benefit from some of the best social, health, and education programs in the world, some communities are living in third-world conditions. And it’s not just drinking water (although that’s a biggie!): education (it will take close to 30 years to close the education gap between aboriginals and non-natives), housing (mould, shortages of adequate homes on reserves), and other social issues only add fuel to a fire that’s already burning pretty wildly.

In September 2005, the Commissioner of the Environment and Sustainable Development issued a report on Drinking Water in First Nations Communities and on federal responsibilities for the safety of drinking water. The media, instead of focussing on the significant risk posed to the health of over half a million First Nations people, centered their stories towards the fact that the federal government was not testing water on airplanes (which isn’t to say that airlines aren’t already doing so). Oh, how I pity first class people who can’t drink the tap water on their international flights... Less than one month later, Kashechewan was being evacuated and the media finally woke up.

Aboriginal Canadians are being treated as second-class citizens in this country. Years ago, they had the rug swept out from under them, and were left to fend for themselves. It’s absolutely unacceptable, and we should be pressuring our government to act quickly on fixing the problems that plague First Nations. There is a wealth of culture, history and traditions there that we should be embracing.

For more information on this and other First Nations issues, check out the Assembly of First Nations Web site.

Bound together by a chain

2006-10-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

Where do we come from? Fossil records previously put the origins of the human in Africa, but the National Geographic Society and the Waitt Family Foundation have launched a project (the Genographic Project) to determine the human’s true origins using DNA samples from all over the world.

This project not only makes it possible to prove that we’re all originally from Africa, but provides people like you and me with the chance to know more about our ancestors. For about $100, you can order your DNA sample kit. You collect your own samples, send it in, and the research team will get back to you to let you know what your ancestral path looks like. Pretty neat, if you ask me!

I think, though, that the potential social impact of a project like this is even cooler to look at. What the heck is in a race, if we all come from the same mom and dad!? It just goes to show how ridiculous it is that some people to get hung up on skin colour or ethnic background.

Brown paper packages tied up with string…

2006-10-24T08:52:00.000-05:00

I bitch a lot. I know that. Just so you don’t start thinking that I’m all negative, all the time, I thought I’d reinforce my motto (B Positive! Just like my blood type…) and go down a happier, lighter route today. These are a few of my favourite things:

1. 35 mm film. That familiar “click”, the prints, the smell of chemicals… nothing beats it. Yeah, digital cameras are fun. But I wouldn’t trade my 35 mm SLR for one!
2. My iPod. I really wish I could say otherwise, but I totally bought into the iPod craze. How could I not!? A bitsy piece of hardware that can hold all of my favourite tunes? My old iPod crashed last year, and I swear I had depression…
3. Sushi. It’s like butter. Even though there was the Great Wasabi Incident of 1999, there’s still something about raw fish that does it for me. Yummy.
4. Mail. Not e-mail. Not bills. I’m talking good old fashioned letters and cards. Come on, let’s keep the post alive!
5. Dippin’ Dots. Flash frozen ice cream using a cryogenic process. The coldest ice cream you’ll ever have. (Tutti Frutti! That-a mean, all frrroooout in Italian!)
6. George Stroumboulopoulos. By now, that’s no secret. Great taste in music, lots of knowledge (and the power to share it with a bunch of disillusioned kids who wouldn’t otherwise give a damn), tons of charm, a kickin’ style, and the chops to lead an interview like Barbara Walters wishes she could…
7. Railay, Thailand. A tiny peninsula off of Krabi. No roads. Great beach. Great wall climbing. A mini Jamaica (island mentality and Bob Marley included) in the Andaman sea.
8. Bridgehead coffee. It's fair trade, organic, AND delicious. If you're in Ottawa and feel like a cuppa, I strongly recommend it. The Web site offers info on the history and significance of fair trade, something everyone should get familiar with. It's not just a cool Coldplay buzz word, you know!

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad... I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel so bad!

A boot, a vote, and a great big clocktower

2006-10-21T17:00:00.000-05:00

I didn’t know much about Garth Turner, MP for Halton, Ontario, until a few days ago, when he got the boot ffrom the Conservative caucus. He gave The Hour’s George Stroumbolopoulos one of the most honest and interesting interviews I’ve seen in a while.

He has been keeping a blog since last January’s election and often criticized his former party’s actions as the new government of Canada. I encourage you to check out the clip on The Hour’s Web site, because I simply can’t recount it without taking away from it.

His ideas on how individuals can affect change are refreshing. He feels loyal to his constituents and reports to them, rather than to Parliament, and wants to ensure he represents them. There are many politicians out there who are like that, that’s important to note. And that’s an essence that’s so important to maintain and encourage. We have a great power here, with a democratic system and a vote. It’s a single vote but it means so much.

Democratic systems like ours should work from the bottom up. Instead, we are faced with a government who imposes its ideas on the people who elected them, without much consultation or regard, mixing religion and politics like ice cream and chocolate syrup.

What we need is more people like Garth Turner, who are out to represent the people, not Ottawa, to connect with today’s Canadian. We are a diverse, open and intelligent nation. We should be able to call the shots.

It's a dog's life...

2006-10-20T12:25:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it?

“The Liberals allege Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay referred to ex-girlfriend and Liberal MP Belinda Stronach as a dog during an exchange Thursday in the House of Commons — a charge he later denied. During the debate about the Tories' clean air plan, MP Mark Holland said a fellow Liberal jokingly asked MacKay about the impact of pollution on humans and animals: ‘What about your dog?’ Holland alleges MacKay motioned in response toward Stronach's vacant seat and replied: ‘You already have her.’” (CBC Online News)

I mean, is that really what we’re paying our government to do? Cheap shots across the House of Commons floor are not uncommon. Heckling is part of the daily practice. It’s childish and unproductive, but it’s been part of the process for, well, ever!

Members of the Opposition have been relating MacKay’s comments to the Conservative Party’s view of women. Although I don’t think it’s fair to use the comments of one (bitter) Minister to illustrate an entire’s party’s position, I do agree that comments of the sort are extremely offensive. (I have my opinions on the Conservative Party of Canada’s views of women, but I’ll save those for a later post.)

That being said, how about MPs stop scrumming about this (rather trivial) issue, stop wasting precious time on hearsay, and move on to more pressing issues? We’ve got troops in Afghanistan, a changing climate, dreadful conditions for First Nations, a struggling healthcare system… need I say more? Let’s get to work!

Two Geminis for The Hour!

2006-10-18T10:44:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to George Stroumboulopoulos and the crew from The Hour for the Geminis they were awarded last night! The Hour won the Gemini best talk series and The Strombo won the award for best host in a talk program or series. A show like this was long overdue. George’s quick, uncensored and witty comments on current affairs – from news headlines to pop culture – make for an interesting combination. A dash of sarcasm, a smidgeon of irony, a touch of humour, and whole lot of smarts will get you far, as Stroumboulopoulos has demonstrated (creds include sports radio, a VJ gig on MuchMusic and a short-lived hosting job on The One – let’s pretend that last one never happened though…). Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s a sylin’ cutie (go shell toes!).

Check out The Hour’s Web site for last night’s episode, or watch in on CBC at 11 p.m. on weeknights. You won’t regret it!

How Stella's getting her groove back

2006-10-16T15:14:00.000-05:00

This post is about that guy. You know, that guy who says he’ll call but doesn’t? And then just when you’ve resolved yourself to thinking he’s never going to call, he does? Know him? Yes. That guy.

I’ve met that guy. Actually, I keep meeting him. He’s mastered the art of elusiveness and answering questions without actually providing information (like a true politician – should be my first clue!). He likes to keep you on a long string and manages to charm you into “just one cup of java”… you have a great time, he says he’ll call, then he doesn’t. And repeat.

Sound familiar? You probably met him too.

And it’s not just guys. I’m not oblivious to the fact that there are many playettes out there as well. And you know what? I’d be lying if I said I’d never played the game either. What are we playing for, though? Is there a cash prize, or even just a trophy?

A friend recently took the bull by the horns and told a guy she likes how she felt about him. Ballsy. It inspired me. It has provided wind for my wings. I’m going to (try to) do my part in making the game an honest one, where people say how they feel (or don’t feel) and no one is left hanging.

And now I introduce Stella’s Social Experiment #1. Having been single for some time, I am obviously doing something wrong. For this experiment, I will be honest and clear about my intentions and will see what happens. If you feel like joining me, here’s what you need:

-Balls (Girls, these are figurative.)
-A good pair of sexy shoes (Boys, these are also figurative… just wear something that makes you feel good. And please, do everyone a favour, leave the ball cap at home when you’re hitting da club.)
-A dollop of confidence (If you’re not sure you have it, fake it. Trust me, it works.)

Ok. Got everything? Let’s get to work.

What happened to skipping rope and being silly?

2006-10-16T14:40:00.000-05:00

I’ve been following a story since this morning about a senseless act of bullying that took place in Winnipeg this weekend: “A 14-year-old Winnipeg boy suspects young bullies targeted his disability when they trapped him in a playground shed and set it ablaze on Saturday.” (CBC online news)

What is happening to our kids? There is a serious problem when children don’t understand the consequences of their actions. You could talk about violence on television and in video games, but I’m not about to go down that well-paved road.

Here’s a concept: RESPONSIBILITY! What has happened to being responsible for your actions? Isn’t it a parent’s RESPONSIBILITY to instill this in their children?

“The teen was at a playground in a Manitoba Housing complex (…) when a group of children, between ages eight and 11, forced him into a shed and locked him inside, police allege. The shed was then set on fire and the children fled the scene, they say.” (CBC online news) I have a hard time believing that the junior arsonists didn’t understand the grave consequences of their actions. And if they don’t, well, I’m not even sure what I would say to that. Luckily, the 14-year-old boy was rescued by other children who were playing nearby.

As adults, some of us take responsibility for our actions, for where we are in our lives, and for where we’re going. Others, however, feel no pain in blaming parents, friends and even strangers for their behaviour. Is this becoming a part of our culture?

For example, when Paris Hilton (yes, I said Paris Hilton… I’m sorry to be bringing her into this – she’s just such an easy target) was caught allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol a few weeks ago, she brushed it off as being tired, since she’d had a hard day of recording “music” and having dinner with friends. “Oh, she had a hard day… and she didn't eat much. Well, then, don’t let that happen too often!” I don’t think so.

If you’re going to do something, whether it’s stupid or brilliant, own it. Yeah, just own it. You did it. Now, you own it.

As far as playground bullying goes, I’m at a loss. Saying that parents need to do a better job of instilling a sense of responsibility (and humanity) is one thing, but the problem is obviously greater than that. I remember the days of jumping rope and the occasional bathroom stall rumour. Although I don’t condone this behaviour, it’s a heck of a lot easier to take than, say, being locked in a shed and set on fire. So what do we do?

The power of words

2006-10-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

I’ve been reading LGen. Romeo Dallaire’s Shake Hands With the Devil. It took me a while to pick it up – I even bought it for my dad for Father’s Day – but I had the amazing opportunity to hear the (now) Senator speak a few weeks ago. He was the UN force commander for what had been meant to be a peace-keeping mission in Rwanda in the early 90s. He turned out to be witness to one of the most disturbing acts of genocide this world has seen.

I already knew quite a bit about what happened in Rwanda and the role Mr. Dallaire played there. But hearing him talk about it, and linking it to leadership and what he calls shaping the future (rather than just surviving it), was definitely a turning point for me. Not only does he have a great sense of humour and a terrific way with words, he also has the power to move to tears a room packed with cynics, and inspire them to jump on his leadership bandwagon. That week, I picked up his book.

It’s not an easy read; it’s technical and laden with military jargon, and some of what he recounts is difficult to process as it deals with the destruction of humanity. But I can’t help but think that if everyone who read The Da Vinci Code read this book, we would collectively not let something like this happen again. Because it is. Millions of Sudanese refugees are stranded in make-shift camps with nothing but the clothes on their backs. To quote the LGen.: “How do you feed millions of people? How do you care for them?” Add to that the fuel of a corrupt nation interested solely in intercepting international funds that are supposed to go to helping the innocent. The worst part is, we’re not there. We’re not doing anything.

I urge you to pick up this book, read it, and pass it on for someone else to read. I also urge you to get to know the world you live in. There is so much going on, good and bad, that we know nothing about. If we’re informed, we make better decisions. And knowing these things will make us more appreciative of what we are so fortunate to have, whatever that may be.

Ready for take-off...

2006-10-13T14:17:00.000-05:00

I'd like to welcome myself to the 21st century. Just last week, I hooked myself up to the Internet and now I am starting a blog. Friday the 13th - a good day for new beginings. I'm not sure what to expect from this (or what YOU, the reader, should expect) but I trust it will be... interesting. Stay tuned for posts on things that tic me off (I do love a good ranting session), float my boat and keep me up at night. I hope you'll be kind enough to share your comments with me and tell it to me like it is. If you can't learn from your experiences and/or from other people, you're not living. Now, let's make the world a better place, shall we? I'm ready for take-off...